Sunday, June 6, 2010

Going Goat

I've decided that I need a goat. I hear that urban farming is all the rage these days, and I think I might join the movement by adopting a pet goat. And maybe a chicken.

A goat would be so useful. Much more useful than a dog or a cat. I could put it out in the back yard and it could mow the grass by day and scare the racoons and opossums away at night. No 'coon is going to mess with a goat, unless they like getting their face kicked in. I could put a saddle on it and the girls could ride it around the mall and I wouldn't have to pay the two dollars to rent one of those red car strollers. I could take it running AND rock climbing, should I ever decide to participate in either or those activities. The point is, a goat is versatile.

I think a goat would also help us parent. Kids these days are too soft. We could teach our girls how to work the old-fashioned way--they could get up every morning and milk the goat before school. If they want milk in their cereal, well, then they had better take their bowl out in the yard and find the goat. Think what strong women they would become. If they leave their toys out, I could just feed them to the goat. It's all about consequences. I think it would only take one Barbie being chewed to pieces to scare them into submission. My house would be so clean.

You can make lots of cool stuff from goat's milk. Goat soap. Goat cheese. Goat yogurt. Granted, I have never tried any of these products and I don't know if I would like them or not. But even the possibility of them proves that the goat is a superior pet. I mean, who's ever heard of dog soap or cat cheese?

I'm pretty much convinced that goats are where it's at. So now the only question is, what should we name it?